Bittersweet

As one Mowrer is finishing up cancer treatments another will just begin. Todd's aunt Sandy was just recently diagnosed with lung cancer. From what I understand it is a mixture of small and non-small cell. She will travel to Columbus to have her right upper lobe removed and then undergo chemotherapy here in Wooster.

Todd was worried about being fatigued when we go on vacation, but the nurse assured him that within a week he should start feeling less tired.

For those of you who believe in superstitions, on the day of Todd's last treatment we seemingly adopted a little black kitten, appropriately named Midnight by pawpaw Larry. It came out of the cow pasture and perched itself, with help from Java, up on the fence post where it stayed for hours until Todd came to the rescue. Kael, my little animal lover, just can't get enough of it and Brynn likes it until it starts to get playful with her then she starts running through the yard crying "It's chasing me! Get it away!". So I guess our family has grown by one more!

Heading for home

Todd is rounding third and heading for home plate! I can't believe how these last few weeks have just flown by! Thursday will mark his final treatment. According to Dr. Seider, his PET scan was clear and his bloodwork, which he had drawn last week, came back within normal limits. As much as we'd like to bid farewell to all the scans, blood draws and doctor appointments, it won't be happening anytime soon. Dr. Seider and Dr. Kraus would like to see him again in four weeks, each doctor wanting their own seperate scan and labs. Dr. Seider would like a PET scan and Dr. Kraus would like a CT scan. I can already hear the misery in Todd's voice when he mentions the PET scan! If all of the scans and labs come back clear, then he will see Dr. Seider once a year for five years and Dr. Kraus will probably be once every three months throughout the year.

The radiation is finally starting to catch up with Todd. This last weekend he found himself dipping into the Compazine quite a few times. He gets hungry, takes a few bites and then ends up feeling sick or gets a faint aroma of something and gets sick. At his appointment today he told the nurse how he had been feeling lately and her reply was that now he knew what being pregnant was like. I must have been in the back of his mind somewhere because his response to her was "No I wouldn't say that to my wife because she'd say "no you don't know how it feels to be pregnant!""

Looking back I still can't believe how this all happened. Life can change in just the blink of an eye. As much as I felt like blaming someone in the beginning, I came to the realization that this is our plan. This plan was in the making long before that first date many years ago and I'm ok with that. I'm a firm believer of things happening for a reason and I have learned to just roll with the punches and things will get better. One day coming out of the CTC Todd mentioned how it hurt him to see some of the other patients in there looking so fragile while at the same time he's walking out full of energy. So on days when I feel like crumbling, I stand tall realizing that someone out there has it far worse than me.

Time away

It was nice to getaway, or rather somewhat away, this past weekend. My grandpa has some property, 13 wooded acres of bliss, near Seville/Wadsworth area. That's our annual getaway to celebrate the 4th. It's just nice to go back, relax and spend time with family. The kids can run wild and have a ball! Whether it's skipping stones or catching waterbugs, they all have a blast in the creek which runs right through the property. Once night falls, they turn their attention to the army of lightingbugs flying innocently in the air. All the stresses just seem to melt away, especially when you watch the little faces light up with joy when they made a stone skip 3 times in a row! I like to see my own doing all the things that I loved to do back there when I was their age. Kael loves the blackberry bushes, not to mention the wild strawberries! The two of us took a hike Saturday morning to gather berries and everytime we took a step he seemed to find even the smallest strawberry hiding under a leaf. He'd pick, eat it and say "MMM, that good mommy." I'm thinking to myself, "Bubby, I hope that was a ripe one or your gonna have a tummy ache". He was very helpful when it came to picking the blackberries, too. I did have to remind him to pick the purple ones and not the red ones a time or two though. I was telling Todd the other night that back when I was B's age there was a lot more property than what there is now and I knew every inch of it. I used to love when Grandpa would have to go back to "the Woods", as it was known back then, to mend fences. Our break times would be little weenie roasts and lemonade. Those were goood times. I'm so glad that we were able to keep some of the land so that my kids can experience the joy that land brought me.

As for Todd, he's doing well. He missed two days worth of his medicine and I think it might have caught up with him. Friday night he had the misfortune of getting a little sick. He's still not sure whether it was something he ate or if it was because he missed taking his pills before his treatment the last 2 times. All was well the following morning though.

The countdowns have now begun- 2 more weeks of treatment and 5 weeks and 4days until our much needed vacation at Hilton Head!!! Happy 4th everyone!!!